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| Taken at Pak Bara, Satun Thailand 2013 |
We first met in the Philippines in 2008. Our shared passion and growing love for one another convinced us that we were meant to journey through life together.
We spoke with our parents and friends about our relationship. In December 2011, I traveled to Thailand to personally discuss my plans to marry Nittie with her parents and relatives. The conversations went well.
In October 2012, Nittie visited the Philippines, where I introduced her to my family and friends. With the blessing of both of our families, we decided to hold our traditional Thai wedding on March 22, 2013, followed by a second wedding ceremony on April 8, 2013, in Hat Yai, Thailand.
Initially, we had hoped to have only one wedding ceremony because of our limited financial resources. However, I realized that my wife is Thai, and her parents and community have cultural traditions that differ from my own. A traditional Thai wedding is a significant cultural celebration, especially since she is their only daughter.
Therefore, we chose to hold the Thai wedding to honor her parents, relatives, and community. By doing so, we sought to build a bridge between our cultures and demonstrate our respect for Thai traditions.
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| Our Thai Wedding with Traditional Thai Dress, March 22, 2013 |
Our Thai Traditional Wedding
The dowry was an integral part of the ceremony. This long-standing Thai tradition involves presenting money and gold to the bride's family. It reflects the family's honor within the community while demonstrating the groom's readiness to establish and provide for a new family. It is also an expression of respect toward the bride's parents and relatives.
Initially, I struggled to understand the practice of giving a dowry. It seemed outdated to me, and I felt I lacked the financial resources to fulfill this custom. However, I placed my trust in the Father Almighty, and in His providence everything worked out well.
As I reflected on the experience, I began studying the historical and scriptural significance of the dowry tradition. I wanted to understand its purpose and value from a biblical perspective.
Here is what I discovered.
In Hebrew marriages, the dowry played an important role. It formed part of the betrothal and marriage covenant. The following passages demonstrate the historical and biblical significance of the dowry:
- Genesis 24:22: "When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a fifth of an ounce and two gold bracelets weighing four ounces."
- Genesis 24:53: "The servant took out gold and silver jewelry and clothes and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave expensive presents to her brother and mother."
- Genesis 29:18: "Jacob loved Rachel. So he offered, 'I'll work seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.'"
- Genesis 34:12: "Set the price I must pay for the bride and the gift I must give her as high as you want. I'll pay exactly what you tell me. Give me the girl as my wife."
- Exodus 22:17: "If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must pay an amount of money equal to the bride price for virgins."
- 1 Samuel 18:25: "Saul replied, 'Tell David, "The king doesn't want any payment for the bride except one hundred Philistine foreskins so that he can get revenge on his enemies."' This was Saul's way of testing David's commitment."
The Apostle Paul also expressed a similar principle of cultural adaptability:
- 1 Corinthians 9:19: "Although I am free from all people, I have made myself a servant to everyone, to win as many as possible."
- 1 Corinthians 9:20: "To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law."
- 1 Corinthians 9:21: "To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from the Father Almighty's law but am under the Son's law), so as to win those not having the law."
- 1 Corinthians 9:22: "To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some."
- 1 Corinthians 9:23: "I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."
These passages demonstrate that the dowry was a well-established custom recorded throughout Scripture. Jacob willingly worked seven years to marry Rachel, demonstrating his devotion and commitment. Likewise, David proved his readiness for marriage by fulfilling Saul's demanding condition.
The Geneva Translation of Scripture beautifully summarizes Paul's cultural adjustment approach:
"I accommodated all customs and manners that by all means I might help some."
Rather than imposing his own cultural expectations, Paul adapted to the culture of the people he served whenever doing so did not compromise Scriptural truth. His example demonstrates humility, cultural sensitivity, and unwavering devotion to fit in. In a similar way, participating in a traditional Thai wedding became an opportunity not merely to honor my wife's family, but also to build meaningful relationships by showing genuine respect for their culture while remaining faithful the word of our Almighty Father.
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| March 22, 2013, Thai Wedding |
What About Today?
The practice of giving a dowry is still observed in many cultures. However, because of ongoing social change and the influence of Western popular culture, this tradition is gradually declining in some societies.
I am not suggesting that other wedding practices are wrong. That is not my point. Cultural traditions are not simply matters of absolute right or wrong, provided they uphold respect, love, and human dignity.
My point is that we should strive to preserve our cultural traditions because they are gifts from our Abba. At the same time, we should seek to contextualize and honor these traditions in ways that bring glory to our Father in Heaven. Our traditions help define who we are by shaping our identity, uniqueness, and heritage. Respecting the core values of our heritage while thoughtfully adapting them to contemporary contexts enables us to preserve our cultural legacy. By integrating traditional values with modern life, we not only safeguard our heritage but also strengthen our connection with the ever-changing world around us.
My advice to young people who are getting married from a different culture is this: honor and respect your future spouse's cultural traditions. If you truly love your partner, you should be willing to adapt, embrace, and support the cultural practices that are meaningful to them.
Regarding the dowry, I personally believe that if it is within the Father's will, He will provide for all your needs. It may not always be easy, as I experienced myself, but our Father is faithful, and nothing is impossible for Him (Philippians 4:19).
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| A snapshot of our Thai wedding where I should hand an envelope with money to each gatekeeper. |
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| Part of the program was the giving of my dowry to the parents of my wife. |
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| Part of the wedding program to choose one of the items to predict the future of our family. |
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| My beautiful bride Nittie with our Thai Wedding Dress |
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What Young Fathers Must Know?